Ha. See what I did there?

Since the inauguration is upon us, I thought I’d talk about all of the things that our darling dearest leader of the free world managed to skirt this election season.

I recently read this Times article on a guy named Jose Antonio Vargas. He is a well known journalist and an illegal alien. How the hell did that happen?

Read the article.

Don’t worry; I’ll wait.

I was distraught after reading it the first time. Perplexed after the second. How can this be happening. I know how much I loathe uncertainty….and it is the very foundation of these peoples’ lives. Like a Jenga tower - if you pull the wrong block, it will all come tumbling down. But it isn’t Jenga. It is real life.

It’s a messy labyrinth of legal/illegal/brought illegally as a child/born here illegally and now legal (wait, born illegally?!).

It is hardly fair to punish a person who arrived unknowingly to an unwelcoming nation and was raised and educated as an American. It still stung every time he mentioned “my country, too.” Does that make me a bad person? A hick? naive? or the poshest of them all “IGNORANT?” Please. I am hardly ignorant. But I do have questions. The unanswerable one: how do we solve this issue? The solutions I currently see on the table are

1) case by case basis - the most fair, least viable idea (who’s going to finance that? Not the government, not the people in question…)

2) deport all people living here illegally - yeah, right. Think about the economic strain that would cause (more jobs that people are “too good” for - you remember National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Cousin Eddy? HE was holding out for a management position.)

3) legalize them all and start fresh - begs the question: what are the moral implications of changing a law just because it’s the easiest option NOT because it will set precedence and solve the issue for future generations. 

4) arbitrary deportation - current policy (yeah, how’s that working out?). While we waste time trying to figure out who’s legal and who’s illegal there are a whole slew of organizations fighting to keep people here against the law because they are productive members of society. Well, who defined “productive members of society” anyway? (insert random statistic here) of Americans aren’t even productive members of society! But they can stay. Because that is their constitutional right. Duh.

Moving right along, what kind of value do we put on laws anyway? As a global view, with all of this talk of revolution going on all over the world, clearly not too much. We, as Americans, however, seem more faithful to our lawmakers. Do we have enough faith in them to lead us through this briar patch? I don’t know, but I hope you’ve got your eyes open. We don’t want the blind leading the blind here.

More logically sarcastic remarks to come on other things that you’ve heard too much about in the news soon.

I have no idea. And it’s completely unrelated to anything in this post. But it is curious.

Between listening to my coworker complain to her friends that her live-in ex-boyfriend is seriously limiting her other casual relationships, researching demographics of the Far East, writing about Iran, and creating a filing system for 6 years of xerox boxes full of paperwork, I haven’t had much time to blog about anything. So…

Since the hurricane, I’ve started 3 jobs, figured out the bus system, NEARLY overcome my irrational fear of public transportation, started Sunday evening “family” dinner excursions, had a birthday, celebrated Christmas with my flesh and blood, had my first New Year in a big city, and come up with a new travel dream that I will happily ponder until it comes into fruition.

I started working at a chocolate store to pay the rent, but then a great internship came up at a foreign policy NGO that I love (and is unpaid…of course), and then a temping opportunity at a rather prestigious (if I do say so myself) trade organization fell into my lap. So, essentially, my head grew 3 sizes that day (like the Grinch’s heart on Christmas) and I started working 80 hours a week. But then I couldn’t get any work done at home for the internship in the evenings because there were just too many distractions. So, I decided to start sleeping my eight hours from 7 pm to 3 am, because you know how many distractions there are at 3 am? Yeah, none.

Family dinner started out as a Chinatown excursion after my half-day shift at the chocolate store. JoeS, SohamB, DharshanaT, and MichaelM ate some killer chinese food. Love those Szechuan green beans! Then we decided that the next Sunday, we should try Burmese food. We met at Burma and added a family member - MashaE. Can’t say that Burmese is an exceptional cuisine. Not a whole lot of spices. The following Sunday we chose Ethiopian at Dukem Cafe, plus 2 more: Gilberto and Jesse, and CarloM was visiting, so he came too. I lived behind an Ethiopian restaurant in East Lansing, so I was familiar with what we were getting into, but if you’ve never been, here’s the scoop: all of the food (for the whole table) comes on a huge platter of rubbery, vinegary, pocked bread. You just rip off the bread and eat the food on top it. Just go. I’ve never had anything bad.The next adventure, I had to skip, but they went for West African at Bokum Cafe. And finally, the most recent trip was for Pho (Vietnamese soup) at PhoViet and added two more to our family: DrewH and EmmaS. Next weekend is Mediterranean…or Afghan…we haven’t decided yet.

On New Year, we went to Russia House, a three-story Russian dining erotica-for-your-mouth-experience. This was the menu:

First Course

Escargot & Black Truffle

Wild Burgundy Snails with a Black Truffle Kasha, Roasted Shallots and Port Demi

Colorado Lamb Perogi

Sour Cream Perogis stuffed with Lamb Confit, New Potatoes & Leeks served with Roasted Parsnip

and Salsify with Reisling Cream

Grilled Wood Pigeon “Waldorf”

Roasted Scottish Wood Pigeon Breast atop a Salad of Celery Root, Gala Apples & Butter Lettuce

Champagne Marinated Salmon

Wild North Sea Salmon House Cured With Juniper, Sel Gris and Champagne served with Baby Beets & Black Pepper Crackers

 Second Course

Wild Elk & Cherry Sausage

In-House Elk Sausage served with Kubotcha Squash And Mostarda Cherries

Seared Blue Fin Tuna

Hawaiian Blue Fin Tuna with Crispy Beef Tongue, Pickled Plums and “Romaine”

Duck Confit & Mushroom Blini

Slow Braised Duck Leg with Wild Mushrooms, Thyme & Black Truffle Cream Wrapped in a Blini

Served with Bacon and Frisse Salad

Pelmini

Pillows of Veal and Pork, Marsala Cream And Seasonal Forrest Mushrooms

 Main Course

Pan-Roasted Sturgeon Filet

Line Caught Atlantic Sturgeon Seared Golden Brown, Basmati Rice, Pistachio and Pomegranate Served with Crispy Black Sausage

Kobe Duo

Grilled Gold Grade Kobe Beef with Kobe Tar Tar, Seasonal Vegetables Whipped Mascarpone Potatoes, Marrow Demi and a Quail Egg

Rabbit & Dumplings

Braised Stuffed Rabbit Leg, Rabbit & Parmesan Sausage with Heirloom Carrots and Cipollini Onions

Chicken Kiev

All Natural Chicken Breast Stuffed with Butter & Tarragon, Lightly Fried served with a Classic Hollandaise, Seasonal Veggies and Whipped Potatoes

Vereniki & Cauliflower

Russian Dumplings Stuffed with New Potatoes, Baby Leeks and Farmers Cheese served with Cauliflower Noisette, Golden Raisins & Spiced Honey

We nom nom-ed for like 4 hours.

So, essentially, all I do is eat around here.

Being from the land of tornadoes, this is my first hurricane. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the whole situation went a little like this:

Saturday, MarieG and I spent the day watching slasher flicks, baking Halloween cookies, and laughing at all of the storm hype. We went to the store to get some sprinkles and the shelves were empty. No bread. No flour. No water. No ramen (hope they have gas stoves…). No chips. No juice. It was like Soviet Russia…

Sunday, Lauren and I continued making fun of all the crazed DCians…but we filled our bathtub and a couple of big rubbermaids JUST in case.

Today, it was rainy all day, but I can’t say that there was any really scary events. I was expecting storm clouds! and lightning! and thunder! and torrential rains! Nothing yet. Now that it’s dark though, the gusts have really picked up and our tree-lined street is just waiting to take out the power lines. With the federal government closed today and tomorrow and the metro and all of the buses out of commission, Lauren and I decided that we should make some food just in case. So we made rice, chili, and thai chicken. While our third roommate who shall remain unnamed here slept…til 4…with his nasty mess in the kitchen…and freezer full of food that will be rendered completely inedible when the power goes out. No microwave. No food for you. So he wanders down and is all, “Oh, is this chili ready? Is it for everyone?” Lauren, “It is ready, but it’s in case of power outages.” Me, “I mean, we won’t let you starve.” Per say. 

1 hour later. Roommate no. 3 to Lauren, “She can’t shower in our shower because she filled the tub.” Me, “That’s what you DO WHEN THERE’S A STORM.” (So WE can flush the massive amount of toilet paper that YOU use every day. (Seriously like 25 rolls a month). WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW ANYTHING ELSE?) Roommate no. 3 also has this super irritating nasal/throat tick that he does all the time. Usually it’s great, because I’m motivated to run…far away…and spend hours outside the house. Today, however, THERE’S NO ESCAPE. Lately, it has been necessary to remind him to clean up after himself. It is hard to respect people who don’t respect themselves. He whines a lot. As funny as this Lauren-and-Heather-lesbian-moms joke is…now that it’s real…not that great.

As far as this Hurricane thing goes. It really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be if you aren’t at the beach. Lauren’s got her ninja hurricane fighting gear on. We are safe.

My life revolves around networking, resumes, and cover letters. Luckily, through all of the networking, I have had a lot of affirmations that people move here all the time broke and looking for work (it’s like the educated people’s Hollywood!) and it takes just over a month to get yourself in order. Well, I showed up here Sept 25 - so my month is going to be over next Tuesday. Then, I will have to have a new plan of attack. Currently I send out about 3 resumes a day….and get 1 rejection letter…a day. I guess informational interview are next on my list? Or the dreaded coffee shop job. I had an interview with the Advisory Board Company - but I essentially botched it. I mean, I prepared and everything, but every time I started talking about how much I like languages and intercultural experiences, she was like “mmhmmm” or “yea (meh).” So the whole time, all I could think was, “Did you LOOK at my resume? Language is like ALL I DO.” I even tried to recover in the “questions” section with “Are you looking to expand to Central Asia/Eastern Europe?” But that was a fail, too. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised to get that rejection email. Good thing I have a sense of humor - this is all going to be a funny story in a year.

Networking is this awkward dance over drinks where you try to radiate confidence under the thinly veiled pretense that you really only met them because you have no friends. However, my Middlebury (actual) friends have been amazing to me. MarieG and I play tennis on the weekends and go to the occasional movie; SuzannaD and her friends gave me an abridged tour of the drinking districts in DC (I went to my first benefit and was on the list! A); and MaryD set me up on a blind friend date (that’s blind friend-date not blind-friend date) which went great, we skipped the small talk and moved right to college stories and reasons to love Jack and ginger.

Things at home are all rather interesting. I am completely obsessed with Sex and the City  - one of my roommates has the complete series (thank God it’s not still on). I can’t stop. Luckily, I can multitask. I have two roommates: AdamW and LaurenM. LaurenM are kind of like AdamW’s mothers…he has never lived alone and can’t do a n y t h i n g. SO FAR, we’ve taught him how to make tacos, spaghetti sauce, and rice, to change a light bulb, and NOT to put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. He’s clean and nice though, so I don’t have much to complain about. LaurenM has introduced me to her rugby teammates. They, not only invited me to my first debate party (did someone say binders full of women?), but have also roped me into playing with NoVa next season. And I’ve found a wonderful running path in Rock Creek Park that goes along the river and is mostly creeper-free…and works perfectly with mapmyrun.com (which I started using thanks to SuzannaD, and I highly recommend if you have a smartphone.) AND I started using the Green Grocer - a service that delivers fresh produce from local farmers to my house! This is not only great because it is the same amount every other week (like $39), but because the variety rotates by whatever is in season AND I can’t go get grocery overload like I have had a tendency to do in the past. Now all I have to get at the store is grains and dairy. Hooray!

Pretty much everything is perfect. Except the fact that I am unemployed. But that is going to change soon, right?

Well, you should know by now how much I love to experiment in the kitchen…and eat! I’ve been reading up on some DC blogs in an effort to get acquainted with the city and I found a link to this list of food that every omnivore should have tried. I had to wiki some of these…

The instructions look like this:

A - Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
B - Cross out any items that you would never consider eating

1. Venison (all daayyyy!)
2. Nettle tea (not sure why I would put a stinging plant in my tea…)
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp (and promptly wanted to die)
9. Borsch (Mama Olya!!)
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (i’ve heard the raving. i will answer the calling…Pho14)
13. PB&J sandwich (All KenaS and I ate for lunch every day growing up)
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart (Red Hot Lovers - Ann Arbor, MI)
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (Apples, Cherries)
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras (have you seen how they make this? I didn’t try this intentionally)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (BOSTON!)
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (with ClaireS at A&W!)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (Jello shots?)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail (soon…)
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (insect_1)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk (does cheese count?)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (lived down the street in EL)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (Thanks to TaniaB’s family!)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV (Dragon’s Milk @ Beggar’s Banquet, EL)
59. Poutine (Two Brother’s Tavern, VT)
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst (World Cup @Adidas World Headquarters Stadium, Germany)
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake (duh. fair food.)
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho (meh)
72. Caviar and blini (s russkimi druzyami)
73. Louche absinthe (Prague)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill wtf?
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie (road trips)
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky (and bubble tea!)
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (remember the Horse Steak debacle?)
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam (almost ashamed to admit)
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano (sunny Side - Adrian, MI)
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor (didn’t know this existed. will be trying asap)
98. Polenta (and polenta fries, too)
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Taxation without representation. It’s on all of the license plates…and it feels pretty ironic. But for whatever reason, I am here, doing it.

Things I’ve found out in the first week:

You’ve got to get a Smart Trip Card and register it online so that you don’t lose all of your money if you lose the card. You can order it online for delivery or you can just buy one at any CVS. It works for the metro and for the bus system (many of which get cheaper fares as an incentive to go electronic).

Get your Driver’s License and plates changed in the first 30 days or prepared to get a lot of tickets (or so I hear). You would literally need to do this in the first TWO HOURS if you live in an area that requires a parking permit. Be prepared. You have to get inspected first, but make an appointment or you will wait in line for like 2 hours on a good day. I was in and out in 30 minutes and I got to cut in front of an angry mob that looked like it would like to slaughter me. 

Don’t forget you friggin checkbook. You need it for rent….or you’ll have to be like me and try to find a partner bank that will write you an “official check” OR you can take cash out of an ATM and carry that around with you (which is the poorest of the choices, I assure you) - but you won’t be able to take out more than like $350 in a 24 hr pd according to your bank’s “safety concerns.” Or you could save yourself a lot of hassle and just not forget it, ok?

Well, I didn’t LIE. I just counted my chickens in Peg’s eggs before they hatched.

When I wrote the post about the Army, it was weekend before I was going to sign. Everything was in the bag. I aced the tests. I had all my paperwork in order. I had my story straight. I was going to the MEPS. But then, I got there and some stuff happened that set back my application for 2 months. I was disappointed distraught. I spent all that time agonizing over the direction of my life; then I made the decision; then fate rung my doorbell, kicked in the door, slapped me right in the face, and said NOPE, WRONG AGAIN! This was two weeks ago to the date.

So I sobbed for a hot second and pointed snotty fingers at all the wrong people before I picked myself up out of the fetal position and packed my still-open-on-the-floor-from-Middlebury suitcase. Threw it in the car with some other essentials, and headed out.

I had been planning a trip to Boston for a couple of weeks, and with the recent discovery, I decided to check out my options on the east coast for awhile before I headed back to the MItten.

Boston was great. I picked up CarloM at the South Station on Thursday and we checked out the walkplatz by the “Hahba” (read: Harbor). Friday, we explored the Freedom Trail (that after a couple of hours turned into the Freedom Trail Bar Crawl - we found the Green Dragon thanks to CarloM’s master navigation skills). Later, we went over by Cambridge to meet up with some friends at the People’s Яepublik. The next morning, we got up bright and early (with the help of some legal stimulants and bagels) and got to the docks in time to see EllenP compete in Boston’s first annual Sharkfest. Since she’s super fab, she finished 2nd out of all the women in her age group, swimming a mile in 65 degree water.  It was pretty low key other than that, until I got a phone call that I was permanently DQed from the Army, until I got my Воображение removed (the tattoo behind my ear - Imagination). So, I curtly ended that relationship.

So, I called up my reliable friend MarieG, who lives in DC and was gracious enough to let me sleep on her pull out sofa while I looked for a place.

Last Tuesday, I arrived in the city. I looked at some really terrible places and some really nice ones and finally managed to snag a place on Saturday. I had to go to Target to buy a $30 blow up mattress, so I wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, but other than that…I’m kind of set. At least, I have an address.

All in all, I am happy that I pursued the military path to the fullest, because I know that I would have always wondered about it if I hadn’t. This situation didn’t do much to convince me that I should make calculated decisions, though. I thought that all of the Russia adventure nonsense was due to a string of poor decisions. However, it seems like every time that I make a decision…there is fate, just waiting for me to decide, to commit, to make definitive steps in a forward direction, and then it shows up to mock me and then decides for me anyway. Fate doesn’t care if I make rash decisions. Fate doesn’t care if I make calculated decisions. Fate doesn’t care what decisions I make. It just cares that I make them. So what is the message here? Work hard. Roll with the punches. Whatever happens, happens. Love it. (Because the only other choice is to wallow in your own self pity until you’ve wasted all your time and you die.) That’s life. Все очень просто.

The job search continues indefinitely. I have applied for every Russian-related job posting in the city. I’ll let you know how that goes.

i LOVE THIS